Friday, January 26, 2007

The Slow Crushing Weight of In-Laws, A Story of Trite Banality

Oh man, there's nothing worse than your in-laws visiting. Seriously. I mean, I've been married to the same woman for like, twenty years now, and I've always dreaded her parents coming into town for a visit. It's like, they're always judging me? Oh man, there's some kooky business when the in-laws come to visit. Always a wacky scheme.

Oh, and I hate Mondays too. They like, suck? 'Cause it's not the weekend anymore? And I hate my job because I settled for a soul crushing position in middle management at some local manufacturing and shipping corporation? Also, I hate my boss 'cause he's dumb and smells bad.

Do you know what else sucked? When I used to get busted in college by the dean for drinking and having bad grades. College is a party man! Like, that's the point of college! Paying lots of money to sit in a dorm room, get drunk, and totally not study for the test!

What's even worse is that my son is probably going to grow up to be gay, and we are parents are going to have a hard time adjusting to this new crazy change, but in the end we'll learn to accept him for who he is and how he wants to live his life, even if we go through some kooky, kooky montages where we try to make him watch football and bring him to a titty bar in order to "straightenize" him. Oh man, what a laugh riot that will be, hunh? It'll all end up with a mis-guided hunting trip where my best buddy will be shot in the buttocks by our other buddy, who's sort of the comic foil in this picture, I mean, is kind of our goofy sidekick. Then we'll realize that none of us really know what we're doing and that it's okay for my son to be gay.