Friday, January 26, 2007

A Way Out

So she came up t' me ya know? She was like, "I peed on the stick and it's blue."

OH man! You have no idea how excited I was to be a dad! Yeah, I know tha' I don't have a job yet, but ya know I'm still in high school an' my ma will totally be stoked to help out for the time being, ya know? I'm pretty good with cars and I can get a job at a garage probbly when I graduate.

But then she said like, a day later "I'm not sure if it's true, I don't trust the stick."

SO she don't have insurance, ya know? So we go to the clinic over in the next town. I drive her over there in my Pontiac.

WE get there, right? An' there's a huge crowd of people wi' signs an' ev'rything. Shit that says "Sinner" and "Abortion is Murder," I dunno, bullshit like that. And they're lined up outside the door and are shoutin' at evvryone who goes in there.

SO we start walking up the sidewalk to th' front door, right? An' Becky says to me, she say, "Roland, I'm scared." An' I say, "Don' be, they jes' don't have anything good t'do with their lives."

An' we make it halfway down the walk an' they're shoutin' "Murderer!"

An' one ol' lady comes up to me and says, "I hope you go to hell, sinner!"

An' I shout back, "Look lady, we're keepin' th' baby! We're jes' getting a check-up!!"

"Abortion is murder!" she shouted, an' "Think of baby Jesus!"

SO I punched her. Hard. In the nose. It broke an' started sprayin' blood evvrywhere. Everyone was yellin' "Oh my God! Oh my God! You hit her!" An' she was grabbin' at her nose an bleedin' all over her winter coat.

SO they started swarmin' me, but they're all bored housewives and their children, so I end up breakin' like seven noses and givin' a lot of black eyes, an' I think I broke an arm.

THE cop came out 'cause there's always a cop at these places to make sure no one bombs it or anything, and he took me down pretty quick. They filed a police report, an' all those ladies pressed charges, assault and battery or something, so they took me to court and since I had some stealing charges from when I was younger, they put me away for a year.

MY son was born a few weeks ago, and I'm lookin' at parole soon for good behavior, but nothin's the same. Becky broke up with me, and I barely get to see my baby, and it'll be harder once I'm out. She's got paperwork filed for sole custody. Which I guess is what I have to look forward to once I'm outta this place.


Though Raub's intent is blurred, the reader can easily try to take a few things from this story, even though it's written in a flawed dialect. The first, pro-lifers suck. Second, Planned Parenthood offers way more services than just abortions (and most don't even perform abortions). And third, don't punch middle aged housewives in the face because they believe that they are entitled to everything just because they bend over and grab their ankles three times a week for their husbands. They are bored, they will take it personally, and they will do everything they can to bust your ass.

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